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Hello everyone. I bought a new keyboard today so I thought what better way to take it for a spin than to sit down and write something. So here I am, I've got slow jazz playing in the background, a new keyboard to type on and absolutely nothing to write about, and that's the problem.
Have you ever met one of those people who are always doing something? Be it something pertaining to work, or hobbies or just going out and having fun. They're always out and about, always trying to squeeze as much out of life as possible. Well, I'm not one of those people, although I would love to be. I'm sick and tired of myself responding to "so, how's it going?" with "you know, same old." I'm a young man and yet it seems like I'm already living the life of a retired pensioner. Isn't that a little sad?
Of course, another big part of why I respond to that question the way I do might be because the things I actually do in my daily life are most likely of little to no interest to most of my friends. I very rarely befriend people with whom I have a lot in common. I don't know if that's on purpose or not, but generally my friends and I are completely different, from beliefs and opinions to the very fundamentals of how we live our lives. I guess that's what makes those friendships engaging, though. The fact that we lead very different lives make for interesting conversations and insights, but it still feels sad not to be able to bring anything to the table.
My typical day goes a little like this. I wake up, it's most likely already past noon, so I jump straight to lunch and then sit around on my computer, in the evening I might go for walk, then I come back home, have dinner and sit on the computer some more until I fall asleep. Rinse and repeat, the pattern is very rarely broken. Is it any surprise, then, that I find it difficult to talk about what's going on with me? It's probably because *nothing* is going on with me, and I don't know what to do about it.
I think much of it has to do with responsibilities, I have virtually none. No school, no job, no nothing. Thankfully that will change come September, and there's a part of me that says I should cherish times like these where I'm free to do what I want and am not bogged down by responsibilities and put into a repetitive routine. Only problem is that this freedom has indeed put me in a routine of my own making, one that I could seemingly very easily get myself out of, but somehow don't know how.
I know what you're thinking. In a list of first world problems, my problem probably takes the cake by far. But it is what it is, I suffer from an unwillingness to get out and do something new, experience something for the first time. It doesn't have to be the way it is right now, from bed to computer and from computer to bed. It is very frustrating to have a problem with a solution so simple, and yet I can't seem to put it into motion.
Does anyone else ever feel like that? Like they're stuck in a routine that they are perfectly capable of getting out of, yet can't for some reason?