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CindyKat's Dad Passing and Thoughts on ... Stuff

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If you look at my poems posted on Crazy's thread, you'll know it was not a bed of roses without thorns. My childhood was one of walking on egg shells and verbal gruffness.

Thread: Poems by...cRAYz

That said.... rest in peace, Dad. Thank you for the camping trips, going to the beach, buying fresh shrimp right off the boats in the harbor, and making the choice to live as a Christian family. It gave me roots to go to family reunions with 100s of cousins, cousins of cousins, and aunts and uncles who were my Dad's cousins. The old folks played dominoes under the large oak trees, and the kids pondered the flavors of Nehi Grape, Orange Soda, and Root Bear (which we NEVER got at home), along with huge tubs of iced soda were also large metal tubs of iced down watermelons!! Good times with tables laden with food from all the dozens of our mom's kitchens and playing in the hot summer sun!

Today it is soda in cans as much as in bottles, families seem to talk my text on cell phones and tablets more than gathering in person except for weddings or funerals, and Dads.... well I do not know many Dads that take their kids to their job sites to explain, show his skills.... let you tag along to buy shrimp from the boats.... drive for hours when money is tight to take us to the beach to romp and play.... and yes, make sure we grew up with morals, ethics, and family values to pass on to the next generation.

Alas, my brother has acquired my Dad's gruffness and judgmental harshness towards me, my sister is a manipulative pipe dreamer, our family unit pretty much broke down when my mom died. Even with that -- I have moved forward to forgive, remember the good things, learn from the hard things, and cherish a lost 1960s generation with unlocked doors, shared neighborhood yards, no fences, tag, hide and seek, and more indoors than outdoors when playing!!

Every adult was Yes Sir, Yes Ma'am, and NO WAY would we disrespect an adult even if we thought they were unreasonable or petty. It was just unheard of.

This is part of the debate with Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, All Lives Matter. It is ridiculous to judge 99% based on the errors in judgement in a split second made by a police officer -- or those with power who abuse that power. There have always been harsh cops -- my question is what did YOU do to get pulled over.

I was taught that if you were out after a certain hour, you were asking for trouble. PERIOD, end of paragraph.... I grew up in a very large city in USA on the working class east side... we knew the cops were hard and harsh and you did NOT speak back at them unless you wanted to get hauled off to jail. BOTTOM LINE. Do NOT ever disrespect a police officer ... that is how I was raised.

Well the original purpose of this blog was to have a memorial for my Dad, but I ended up voicing what seems to be on everyone's minds -- why the shootings?

Because some folks are taught to disrespect the police and authority and it causes them to get into bad situations. It is a CHOICE to be polite when you get pulled over. It is stupid to go for your wallet == keep your hands where they can see them and ONLY do what they tell you to do. Yeah, it is a tough world for police these days -- they are tired of bad attitudes too.

So, if you want, post a memorial to Dad -- he, thankfully, died in his sleep when his breathing failed. We have known for about a year that his lungs percentage of oxygen was failing. He had asbestos damage and also had heart surgery several times. He was about 83 and volunteered to build and repair summer camps for kids during his retirement. A man with flaws ... forgiven, rest in peace, Dad.

To the next generation -- do NOT allow anyone to manipulate you into hate and functioning for THEM in a political protest!! There are folks with agendas out to use you -- do not let them! It is not worth your death.

Love you guys, Celebrate LIFE!


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Blog: CindyKat's Dad Passing and Thoughts on ... Stuff

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These are my opinions. I grew up with VERY harsh police when I was a young adult -- and they are still considered that in this part of the city I am from. You mess with them, they will haul you out of the car and put you in jail over night. And this is in a mainly white area -- so NOT about race -- it is about RESPECT for authority. The cops have seconds to make a decision.... they WILL make mistakes... do not blame 100% of the copy for the 1% who are out of line. :)
My deepest condolences on the loss of your father, CK. May he RIP. You also sound at peace, with your memories and more importantly, your choice to forgive his human foibles. May his spirit flyloveliness
I just read your poems so had to edit my post. I know it still hurts but you are strong and the past has made you a better person, a more forgiving person and that is something to be proud of. Losing a parent is hard, no matter the past circumstances.. losing both is even harder. I would give you a huge hug if I could. inlove

I agree with the rest of your post. The world is not a friendly place anymore, as much as I hate to say that. Police Officers understand that all too well so they go to work everyday not knowing if they will come home that night. They have to take a harder stance and not be as trusting as it used to be years ago. Their lives depend on it. And people forget, who is the first person you call when YOU are in trouble? The police of course. If they are so awful and corrupt as people are saying now, why is that the first person you think of when you need help? There are bad ones too, but there are bad people in every profession. Nothing is immune to a bit of the crazies. You just can't let that small percentage speak for the entire group.

Last edited by BluA, 8 hours ago

My condolences about your dad. I don't think it would be appropriate for me to comment on anything else.

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You're an amazing person Cindy. You're strong and liberal. Let time's healing touch soothe your pain. And my condolences about your father.
Sometimes you don't need to do anything in particular to get pulled over, and sometimes frustration and fear are coupled with a nervous index...

Last edited by watertiger, 24 min. ago

Sorry to hear that matey,sad May his soul rest and peace..
Indeed. Celebrate Life.


Take care of yourself, Cindy. wave
My condolences on your dads demise.
As for as listening to someone in authority, is a must.
One must remember, no one is God and mistakes will happen. It's never about race or religion.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm the eldest of both my Mothers' and Father's side still left. so I've been there. My prostate defected, and my last two yearly DREs gave me an ETA of 3-5: no long term plans.
Start making memory journals. Little paragraphs of history. My "baby" is about 40, and he wants those baby and kidling stories to relive and pass down.
Got photos- date and caption them. Be kind. Folk "remember" what you write. Like my Uncle Joe, who died a few months after the wedding: "Old Uncle Joe! Doesn't he look good here?" I make no mention that he put the microphone in his mouth, slapped three girls butts, or wet himself. A few decades later no one else remembers what he did, but even if they weren't there they remember what I wrote.
All those cousins, and cousins of cousins, and their kids and grandkids, would love to reminisce bout what you remember about those reunions, birthdays, weddings, Xmases, etc.
Write your Father's stories, and his stories of his Father. Some older folk get into genealogy, so names, dates and relationships are very important.
And being the 21st century this doesn't have to be physical. You can make and update a Word type document that everybody else can add to. There may be 20 different copies in a decade or so; but that's OK somebody (else) can figure it out then.
I'm so sorry for your loss Cindy !!

My condolences to you & your family ...
I was raised a lot like you back in the 70s, Mom's side is all Irish-Catholic and any funeral requires a large gymnasium. I too lost my dad, but that was back in February '86, followed 8 days later by his father. Funerals suck, but even more so during the coldest month of the year standing next to an open grave at -15F with a steady 20MPH wind. fortunately Mom is still healthy, but she has already lost 3 brothers and her oldest sister.

I am deeply sorry for your loss and I know what you are going through. I also agree with you position on how our Society has deteriorated in the last quarter century.
My deepest condolence Cindy sad
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